Why does the media romanticize stalking and relationship violence?

Yvonne Chook, a third-year student studying biomedical engineering, said that she often finds that the media in many ways normalizes or even glorifies unhealthy behaviors in regards to relationships and stalking. 

Chook is a peer educator for the Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Program at ASU and also a public relations officer for the Malaysia Student Association. Through her role as a peer educator, she raises awareness about healthy relationships through events and training sessions.

She cites a popular Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams film as an example of a problematic portrayal of love.

“When we think about the movie 'The Notebook,' that’s often referred to as the ‘love story of the decade.’ Any Google search regarding the movie would specifically talk about how it’s a story about how ‘love endures all’ or ‘love wins at last,’” she said. “But when we put the actions and behaviors that the movie portrays in real life, it could easily be counted as harassment, guilt-tripping, gaslighting and so much more.” 

Yvonne Chook, third-year student at ASU, on "A" Mountain

Chook believes that while movies like “The Notebook” can be fun to watch, they can also easily normalize toxic behaviors in relationships. She said that many of these movies portray fights, control and jealousy as a necessary part of showing that your partner truly cares about you. In reality, these behaviors are unhealthy and can lead to potentially abusive relationships that can affect a person's sense of self-worth. 

Chook said she often thinks about the younger siblings she lives with at home when evaluating movies like these. 

“What messages are these movies conveying to the younger population? Will this affect their definition of a healthy relationship? How would this affect their sense of self-worth? Would this impact their perception of love in the long run?” Chook asked. “I believe all of us at this age have experienced different forms of an unhealthy relationship to some degree, whether we’re aware of it or not.”

Chook thinks that in order to make progressive change regarding stalking awareness, it’s important for entire communities to get involved in sexual and relationship health education. 

“ASU has a ton of campaigns and discussions based solely upon how to improve your relationship with your partners and people in your community!”

To learn more about stalking, visit Stalking Awareness on the sexualviolenceprevention.asu.edu website  and follow the ASU Sexual and Relationship Violence Prevention Program on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.